This is not Meds School *anymore*

Really. What kind of meds student waking up at 5 a.m *to pray, or sometimes at 6* and then sleeping again until 8? What kind of meds student having nothing to do other than staring at the ceiling or listening to the music? What kind of meds student screaming out of the blue because she's bored as hell?
Since new rules had been in my university, this is the kind of meds student I am. It's like I am not anymore.
I.have.fucking.time.to.rent.movies.
What kind of meds student is that?
Even I'm sick of myself.
The new rules are made by the Chief of Department, who apparently has son studying here, my junior. The story began when her son were told to go to campus at 6 a.m. (only at 6) to attend supplementary lecture from senior before they went to the lab. It was autonomic rule from the lab. But, rumor said that the boy didn't want to attend it and decided to run to tell his mom. And you can guess what's next. The day after, all of labs was prohibited to make any lectures such that anymore.
The excuse was because there was no rules to force students going at dawn to the campus to study. It was like illegal action going on.
So what? Just because there was no rules doesn't mean it was against the rules. You're just lack of rules, bitch!
But, this state's really happened. And for my year who doesn't have much lab anymore, it kinda doesn't affect us. But, poor my juniors, they'll never have no sleep for 2 days because of pretests, reports, and lectures from labs. I'm sure they will be in shock when they go to hospital in coass state.
It's just I'm so fucking sick of people who use their power to make the surrounding favorable for them. Don't they know, people are going to badmouth them?
I hope in my deepest heart I'm not going to be that kind of woman.

Bagaimana kalau...

keputusanku untuk menjabat di organisasi ini salah? Bagaimana kalau aku memang orang yang payah dalam berurusan dengan orang lain, terlebih lagi berurusan dengan orang lain dan uang?
Niatku memang baik: supaya bisa terbiasa berbicara di depan umum sekaligus melatih mengatur finansial. Tapi berbakatkah aku?
Bodoh. Yang namanya mengurus uang memang bukan soal bakat. Tapi benar-benar aku tidak tahu sama sekali mengenai hal ini.
Bagaimana jika aku tidak amanah?

Selamat merenung ke 20 tahun

20 tahun (hela napas).Sehari sebelum aku berumur 20 tahun: Solat subuh jam 6 pagi, tidur sampai jam 11 siang, bangun, mandi, solat zuhur, nganterin dedek liat lokasi SBMPTN, nganterin ibuke PGS, makan bakso Titoti, solat asar, ngobrol-ngobrol sama dedek dan ibu, solat magrib, makan panties pizza traktiran mbak kunti, ngobrol-ngobrol sama ibu dan dedek, nelpon ayah, ngerjain revisi laporan gastro sampe jam 12 malam…
Gak ada kemajuan.
Makhluk macam apa aku ini sampai tidak mau bersyukur pada Penciptanya untuk kehidupan yang dimudahkanNya. Atas rezeki yang dilimpahkanNya. Atas ilmu yang diberikanNya. Atas waktu yang dimilikiNya. Atas kesehatan yang dianugerahiNya. Atas berkah kasih sayang sebagai manifestasiNya?
Pikirkanitu, renungkan itu ketika lalai dari perintahNya…
Syukur gak perlu muluk-muluk. Cukup jadi makhluk yang taat. Bersyukur, taatlah…
Hidup 20 tahunku lempeng-lempeng aja. Gak ada target. Let it flow, kata orang. Tapi itu yang bikin aku merasa sia-sia, merasa gak berguna, merasa lebih tua dan menyesal jika menilik ke 20 tahun di belakang…
Makanya, harus ada target untuk 1 tahun mendatang. Target ini harus dipenuhi, Bena. Di saat kamu patah semangat, ingat tahun-tahun di belakangmu, mengejekkamu yang menyesal tidak bias mengubahnya.
Target:
1. Akhirat dulu, solat tahajud minimal 1 minggu sekali
2. Denger azan langsung solat!
3. Nabung minimal 5ribu sehari
4. Target hari ini: ngasih kado buat tia, tiwi, dan alifa
Mission completed, you’re better person than a year ago!